Welcome!

This evening it was with great pleasure that I had the honour of witnessing the birth of Angel Leigh into the world. Goofball sent me a text at 2 to tell me it was time, and by 3:45 I was on my way up to Fort Morgan. The kids had to stay the night with a sitter, still don't know how I'll afford that, and I took off from work. Well... nearly got kicked out cuz I was incapable of work *l* When I reached the hospital Nickles was at 8 and the contractions were already starting to hurt through her epideral, that was about 5:15. By 6 she was begging to push but her doctor was in the next room delivering a baby who was busy crowning! Well her doc DID come in and Nickles spent a fevered 20 minutes (surely it seemed longer to her) pushing and crying and screaming (just a little, she's tough). I had the pleasure of witnessing it all as I held her leg and sometimes her hand, encouraging her to breath and push. She did magnificently, and Goofball didn't even faint (like many said he would, including himself) as he held her hand and watched the birth of his very first child. I watched in horror when the doc gave her an epesiotomy, but Nickles didn't seem to notice so I plastered an encouraging smile on my face as the scissors ripped through her flesh and blood flowed... Of course there was plenty of blood anyway.
You know, babies are ugly little alien cretaures upon first appearance. Angel was purple and covered in a whitish film, I was so scared she was still born from that purple coloring, but I of course didn't even hint at that. And as she lay on the warming table getting cleaned, wiped and rubbed her skin became a beautiful tan/pink, and she looked like what she was, a perfect little baby. Dark brown har and dark eyes (which will surely change). She does have horribly inturned feet, club feet which they already knew from the ultrasounds and which will be fixed through surgery before she would even be old enough to walk. The doctor examined and confirmed that it wasn't all that bad and would be easily fixed. Isn't modern medicine fantastic? 50 years ago she probably would have been crippled her whole life...
The doctor was kind enough to give me a tour of the placenta which I'd always been a bit curious about. I made notification phones calls and took first baby pictures (Nickles practically screamed for these even before she could hold her!) while mommy got sewed up and Daddy just beamed. I teared up and daddy and mommy cried. I was so proud and thankful for this opportunity. I admit to being jealous when another friend had been chosen to be in the room, but she didn't get there in time. She did seem very upset (ie mad) when she did get there though she didn't say anything, and she cheered up as the evening went on.
After some Arbys Nickles began to slur her words pretty bad and it was obvious she should have been sleeping quite a while ago, baby had left for a bath at the nursery. We all kissed and hugged her and left her alone. We caught Angel coming out of the nursery all prettied up, which is when the above picture was taken. She's 2 hours old in it. I was going to spend the night but it all happened so quickly I could be home by bedtime, and here I am! Better than leaving their house at 6 to be at work by 8! And I'll be back this weekend to help them out a bit around the house and make little Ember feel like an extra special big sister.
I'm outtie, gotta exercise and get to bed!
God bless and watch over our new little Angel

Passive Aggressive

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Yeehaw

Fairly quiet day all around... Work was busy as all heck, everyone had something that needed done right away, of course very little of it having to do with my actual daily routine. So I am comfortably behind again with plenty of job security.
Even seems to be feeling better. Under his nose is raw and red from being wiped so much, but a LOT of lotion today got his cheeks back to normal. He's been playing pretty hard and his tantrums are to a minimum, yay! He discovered he could remove his pants... I was folding laundry when he tore past me in a diaper and shirt carrying kitty and laughing maniacally... It was pretty cute :o) Before bed tonight he had to drag his horse aorund and ride it in a variety of positions before mommy finally made him stop. Mean mommy.
Speaking of mean mommies, Chris has been telling me I'm mean a lot lately, which got me thinking. Oh, who can believe the words of a 6 year old, but it still hurts... Am I a mean mommy? Is telling Aerrik he's turning into a bully because he always picks on Chris, hits him, calls him names, etc, mean? Is telling Chris I'll take away his Darth Tater if he plays with it in bed (already 20 minutes after bedtime) wrong? Or wiping Ev's nose even though I know it hurts him? I don't think I'm a bad mommy, or a mean one... I might lose my temper now and then, but everyone does, and I don't hit or spank or anything unless they do something seriously wrong. I let them tear the house apart every night, then make them do 15 minutes of cleaning right before bed (which I help with). I let them battle with light sabers, even though someone is bound to get an eye poked out... I make them do their homework and hug them against their will... I guess that's mean to a kid.
I did about 18 minutes of yoga tonight, which felt oh so good. I only stopped because my muscles are feeling wobbly from all the TaeBo and I kept falling over :oP

Stalked

I spent a good part of the afternoon being flirted with by Gonzo via e-mail. Most strange... I never knew he knew how to flirt. And he's even a bit of a romantic! Who would've thought...
Even seems better today. He still has green slime coming from his nose, but he's not coughing as bad. Still sounds a bit raspy... He had a really low fever this morning and none this evening, and he's definitely been playing more though he has his fair share of tantrums too. Aerrik and Chris were driving me bonkers tonight, but what can you expect of battling Jedi?
Oh, my interview! Mild waste of time. I drove all the way to Centennial this morning. I took 470 hoping I wouldn't be late, but I still was. That's okay, cuz then Theresa kept me waiting 10 minutes while she was stuck on a phone call. The interview itself went well, but it turns out the position I'd applied for was gone. Jerks. But the plus side is they have a LOT of offices, some closer to my area, and they have the most staffing problems at the northern offices. Since I don't *need* a job for a month or two, I told her to just keep me informed and I would keep in touch.
I almost didn't exercise tonight. I didn't feel like it. The kids were late getting to bed. Maybe I'll just walk for 15 minutes... then I won't need a shower. Well if I'm gonna walk I may as well do WATP. It's not in it's box. I suppose I could do some yoga... No, my nose is all stuffy and I can't do the breathing... Good lord girl, listen to yourself! Buck up, put in a REAL tape and just do it! Just 15 minutes for crying out loud! SO I DID pop in my TaeBo Basic and did TWENTY minutes before I wanted to collapse! GO ME!!!

Happy New Year!

Happy new year! We were fortunate enough to spend the night with Nickles, Goofball and Ember. The boys had a great time, though Even had a rough night of it. He was coming down with a bad cold plus he'd been with his dad 4 nights, which always makes him a bit clingy. Well whether it was that, or being sick, or just being in a new place, he had a rough night. He went to bed on time but ended up being awake til midnight with the rest of us, then I slept with him in the spare room. That was a shame, because I LOVE their couch! haha Aerrik really liked playing with GB, nice to find someone with the same maturity level as him ;o) ALl in all it was a great night and I need to take the boys up again!
Oh, and Aerrik decided he wants to move out to Brush... He says the sunset was really pretty. And it was... No mountains, and the fields were all flat snow and ice from the storms. The sunlight shone red and gold off all that ice, and it was very beautiful. And then he could be a farmer. I told him it would put him 5 hours or more from his dad, and he said he didn't mind. That's okay, I don't want to be a farmer *l* Though it would be nice to be closer to Nickles...
So resolution time, something I try to not make a habit of. But this isn't a resolution, this is a goal, and it's just convenient right now because all my support sites are running off resolutions. Spark's 31 days to success mission 1: write down your goal! I want to exercise every day! SUccess mission 2: Make sure your goal is specific! Okay, I want to exercise for a minimum of 15 minutes every day. This can include any tape, hard walking, jogging, etc, but it must be concentrated exercise. Walking the mall doesn't count ;o) My reward is a sticker on the calendar every day it's accomplished. Mid-range goal is under 200 at which point I shall dye my hair! Haven't decided on a color yet.
Had a bit of a disappointment today. Ash got drunk and high on new year's eve. How long was she straight? 6 months? 5? And she's been fighting it so hard... I was so mad at her, and so disappointed. I feel like a big sister. I wrote her a firm e-mail then let it drop. I know she can do better, and I know it's hard, but I wish she hadn't used the day as an excuse. On the plus side though, Rach stayed sober and is truly keeping to her plan to try to clean up.
Well the boys are in bed and I've got my second night of exercise done. Even has a nasty nasty cold now, and I expect he'll be up tonight. I just hope he isn't feverish tomorrow, I have a job interview I have to get to. Wish me luck!