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JR's Little Corner

I imagine this will be my little place where I can say whatever I feel. I've journaled off and on, so why not? Here expect to find what's been going on, what's been annoying me, etc etc.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Twin stars



I've been meaning to write to the two of you, though I imagine only one will ever read it.

Tex, you flatter me constantly, and I have feleing sinside of me when I am with you that no one else ahs created. There's just something so familiar about the circle of your arms. But plain and simple if you cannot love and accept my children, I do not want you. You know this, and I hold you no ill will for your decisions. I hope we can be friends for forever and maybe the next time around things would be different. Even if you suddenly decided to try it, I still couldn't trust the change of heart. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hope you find someone someday who is your match. That offer to come visit is always open, just say the word.

L, words can not express how happy and troubled I am to be in touch with you again. There's rarely been a day these last 4 1/2 years that you haven't been on my mind. You can do things to me that no one has, and we both know that. It sounds like you feel the same... But then, that's a very long time and I'm sure we've both changed. I know I have. I'm not the person you were with mack then. I'm a bit bigger, my hair is shorter and a different color, and the contacts have been replaced by glasses. I'm confident and self-assured, I have goals, values, and dreams. I know where I am in life and where I want to go. I'm truely flying. Can you deal with that? Would you even want to? And who have you become? We were good together, but I can't say we still would be. After a few days of not speaking to you, I convince myself I don't need to. But then when I hear your voice my heart and body melt and I can hardly stand it, it's painful to hang up the phone. I do not like that feeling and I deny it until I can see you again. I know that will be soon and we'll just let it ride... Seemed to work before.