K, whatever

So you didn't get that promotion you were supposed to get? Didn't get that job you've been telling me all about? Meeting didn't go as well as planned? The one I've been rooting for you on, and I was so happy and excited for you. And so you don't want to talk about it? That's fine... Might just be a guy thing. Might be that Draygon is right. Might be that you don't think of me nearly as much as I think of you. Might be that you don't think of me at all. Well, cheers. Have fun in Texas. Maybe you'll run into the other one who doesn't think of me anymore, maybe just by chance. You guys will have a lot to not talk about if you did. Cheers.

Know what happened after that? I was driving home, thinking of you. I wrapped my hand tight around my prayer beads, my radraksha beads, and though of you, thought hard of you in half a dozen memories, half a dozen visions of your face. You called me less than 5 minutes later. I don't believe in coincidence. We talked nicely, as friends, for quite a while. You complained about losing that promotion, I listened sympathetically. I invited you over. You said you didn't have enough fuel, and no money. I offered to get you some gas if you wanted to come up. We flirted a bit. And then after a while you mentioned how you got some extra money so you could buy your final eighth. You said this, knowing how I hate to hear of it. Knowing our agreement. And silly me, I'd fallen still in love with you, feelings that had been buried over the last couple days, and it hurt. And I brushed you off. I texted you and yelled at your for once again choosing your drugs over me. But I got to thinking about all of it for once and I've come to this conclusion. The head games aren't yours now, they're mine. I expect myself to be treated like something to you, when you've made it clear I'm not. You've done nothing more than what you've always said, treated me like only a friend. And of course I've pushed my side with all the grace of a sky-diving rhinoceros. And that's oh so me, I must always have my way. Silly girl. You might be stupid but I'm completely dense, with my little self-destruct button firmly pressed down. So here comes my most recent attempt to walk away. To not be surprised when you do exactly what you always said you would. I thought, for a few fleeting moments, that I didn't trust you. But you've only lied to me once, weeks ago, and apologized for that many times. No, I don't trust me. I don't trust me with you. So lovely that you're going away to give me time to be without you. I'll miss you, but I know it's for the best, for the sake of my health.